“I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some Blues.” ~Duke Ellington
Sometimes we need a creative way to get our clients to remember the skills we are teaching them. In anger management, I love using songwriting. In anger management, using the Blues is a wonderful way to teach anger management principles, get out the anger, and have a little fun.
Technically, the blues are usually three lines of lyrics. For the purpose of anger management, we can think of these three lines as “problem, problem, solution.”
Oh when my roommate leaves his muddy shoes on the doorstep, I get so mad
Oh when my roommate leaves his muddy shoes on the doorstep, I get so mad
‘Cuz I’m thinkin’ he should know that it gets to me, but I prolly ought to communicate assertively.
Now, you might have noticed that not only was the problem stated above, but more importantly, it was the triggering scenario that made the speaker mad. After this scenario is re-stated, then the third line “Cuz I’m thinking he should know that it gets to me” demonstrates awareness of the cognitive distortion: mindreading, that may have increased the agitation in the speaker. Then the last part of the third line, “but I prolly ought to communicate assertively,” expresses a positive way to manage the situation.
YOUR TURN:
Oh when (think of something that makes you angry) ___________________________________
I said when (repeat) _____________________________________________________________
I gotta remember (are you using a distortion? Do you need to reframe? What would help you take responsibility for your anger in this situation?) __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
But Davida, I’m not a musician! How do I sing it with my clients?? Get your group snapping, clapping, or patting their legs in a steady tempo, and see if you can just speak the blues. I imagine just when you were reading the above example, you knew what it was supposed to sound like. We’re not making an album here, we’re using this as a therapeutic tool, so the funnier you sound, the more you get into it, the better. Have fun!
Take good care,
Davida Price, MS, MT-BC
Follow me @BlissMusicTx on Twitter
Like BlissMusicTherapy on Facebook
