blissmusictherapy.com Blog

In my work, I run into lots of different kinds of people and I try to encourage them to engage in music. This is really hard. Why? Because most of us, even musical and artistic people, think something along the lines of this:  “Why would any level-headed, non-musician, non-hippie, middle-of-the-road adult come to a drum or music circle or engage in any kind of group music making?”

I saw it last night, I was providing a community music therapy circle at a local art gallery. I would beckon people (who were staring and smiling) to come join us and they would laugh and walk on, I wasn’t selling anything, I was inviting people to come play with instruments (later in the night I ended up calling them toys, this seemed less scary to outsiders). At work, many times, I run into people being so discomforted by the prospect of music making that they leave the room before I give any type of introduction, just seeing the instruments is so threatening that they feel it necessary to exit.

In fact, all of these things go through most people’s heads when faced with the prospect of playing music in a group (such as a drum circle):

1. I’m going to embarrass myself.
2. Playing music takes talent.
3. I don’t have any rhythm.
4. I’m not musical.
5. I haven’t played an instrument since middle school.
6. It’s going to be loud and chaotic.
7. How is that going to help me?
8. That’s for kids.
9. I’m not in the mood.
10. That looks like fun, but I could never do it, it’s not my thing, it’s way outside of my comfort zone!

See, so if you’re someone who has encountered a Community Music Circle of some kind, you are among most people who think these things. But, here’s the thing, these are all myths! “What?!! But that’s how I feel!” Yep, they’re all myths.

Don’t worry though, you’re not alone. Below, I’ve re-written the above thoughts with process questions that you are welcome to consider.

Debunking Adult Myths About Making Music and Facing our Cognitive Distortions about it:

1. I’m going to embarrass myself. Okay, we’re talking about a community drum or music circle, right? Not a concert at the Metropolitan Opera House. So who is going to judge you besides yourself? Process: Consider why the possibility of embarrassing yourself is such a scary thing. Where did this come from? Who is going to judge you and why do you care?
2. Playing music takes talent. No, it doesn’t. Being a professional musician takes about 10,000 hours of skill-building practice (According to Gladwell in Outliers), but not talent. Playing music for fun just takes listening, being gentle with oneself, and being willing to make mistakes and try again. Process: Where did you learn that you don’t have any musical talent? When was that thought planted into your mind? Why do you believe it?
3. I don’t have any rhythm. Right, you’ve never tapped your foot, clapped your hands at a football game, walked, run, jumped rope, or sung Happy Birthday. If you have a heartbeat, you have rhythm. Perhaps you have not used your innate rhythm much, but it’s there, eager to come out. Process: When did you learn that you don’t have any rhythm? How do you know that you don’t have rhythm? Is this true? What does it mean to “have rhythm”?
4. I’m not musical. Pfft. Really? Is that really true? At the most basic level, your cells are gyrating in rhythm right now, creating a symphony of sounds inaudible to the human ear. We are music. Process: Where did you learn that you are not musical? How does it serve you to believe that you are or are not musical?
5. I haven’t played an instrument since middle school. Okay, well maybe that’s true. . .but most adults have not played an instrument in a structured way since being in school? Process: What was your musical experience like when you were younger? What made it positive or negative? If you could change it now, what would it be like?
6. It’s going to be loud and chaotic. Strangely enough it is initially loud when you enter in, especially if you are not playing along very loudly. However, most people experience that as soon as they “fall in” to the music, they don’t notice the noise because their focus falls into their experience of playing, exerting, and being in rhythm with everyone else. If you do have sensitive ears, no one will think less of you if you wear ear plugs. Process: How will the sound affect you? Is there a concern you have about the sound? What will your experience be like if you become a part of that sound?
7. How is that going to help me? You need to go to my post: Music Therapy Fact Sheet. Process: In what ways do you think this experience will be unhelpful? If you were to try this, what new thoughts and experiences will you be having?
8. That’s for kids. Precisely! Often, it’s been a while since we allowed ourselves to get in touch with our inner child or act child like. This is incredibly liberating! It’s okay to be child-like once in a while. Process: Is it okay for you to act like a child? When was the last time you did something child-like? What will happen if you act like a child?
9. I’m not in the mood. That’s valid. I have to ask though, when you first start an exercise or healthy eating regimen, are you in the mood? Often, it takes our recognizing the benefits of something to “put us in the mood.” Also, try doing some deep breathing to focus your mind and get you grounded and ready to let yourself have fun with the music. Process: What kind of “mood” do you have to be in to play a musical instrument? What is it you are really thinking?
10. That looks like fun, but I could never do it, it’s not my thing, it’s way outside of my comfort zone! You are a smart person, you recognize that it looks fun and that it’s outside your comfort zone. You can do it, your limits are in your mind. Now, just think, if you open one door in your comfort zone, just imagine where you might be able to go! Remember, it’s just a door, you can always jump back into your comfort zone. Process: What is scary about going outside your comfort zone? What could happen? Is that really a danger for you?

What do you think, could you join in a music session sometime? Perhaps start out with tapping on your steering wheel on your way to work. Then, maybe try a small instrument, an egg shaker, or something not as scary. . .Work your way up.

We’ll see you at the next Community Music Therapy Event! -dp

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This entry was posted on Monday, September 13th, 2010 at 3:08 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.